Closet Therapy

I'm not good with money. I've always known that I would never make a lot of it, and I figured out pretty quickly that I was going to spend what little I had. My brother is the ant and I am the grasshopper; he's never had any debt to speak of and can make a nickel beg for mercy, which is good, as he has four kids to put through college. 

Fortunately, when I was married, my husband wasn't good with money either, so we never fought about it. We got our paycheck, went out to dinner and shopping, and then two weeks later ate potato soup while hoping we didn't bounce any checks. Thank God we only had one child to put through college.

Right now, I am doing a little better. A year and a half ago I sold my house and downsized in some major ways (like, selling my car). I still have big debts, though, and I oscillate between feeling proud of how much I've paid off ($17,000 in 2011!), and panicking at the thought of how much I still owe and how old I am and what happens if Ben gets sick or I lose my job I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAR TO LIVE IN!?! Breathe, Roberta. 

One small goal in my financial/emotional life for 2012 is that when I feel panicky and anxious about money, I no longer will go out and buy something. I KNOW that I was/am crazy to fight feeling poor with spending money, but hey, that's why we have old friends - new ones wouldn't put up with our loony ways. Now, I go to my closet and shop there.

Because I don't need anything more to wear, truly I don't, and my hope is that a month or six from now I'll be able to read this blog post and say, "Yup, I still don't need anything, and that means hundreds of dollars I can eventually spend on a couch because I didn't spend it on clothes AND I still paid off $1400 in debt every month.

So pretty.