Putting the Cart Before the Horse

I spend a lot of time window shopping online (I know, you're stunned), so I thought I would collate everything I have in various carts and see what it amounts to. Then I sorted the list in various ways; by type, by store. I am omitting the dozens of things that i am watching on Ebay, or we would be here all day, and Sundance doesn't save your items in a cart more than a few days.

Leather and fleece boots (L. L. Bean)
Gray lace dress (Garnet Hill)
Gray Eileen Fisher wool dress (Garnet Hill) 
Red shirttail cashmere sweater (Garnet Hill)
Red polka-dot sweater (Kohl's)
Two Dana Buchman tanks (Kohl's)
Black Lysse leggings (Macy's)
Large Sakroots travel tote (Macy's, and it is ADORABLE)
Long bright yellow cardigan (Talbot's)
Pine green work trousers (Talbot's)
Leopard calf-hair pumps (two styles, Talbot's)
Navy pumps (Amazon)
Snakeskin pumps (Amazon)
Leopard wedges (Amazon) 
Black polka-dot pumps (Amazon)
Born shearling moto boots (Amazon)
Grey Miz Mooz tall boots (Amazon)
Leopard calf-hair Donald Pliner pumps (Amazon)
Red ankle boots (Amazon, and they have been in that cart at least a year)
Three leather/bead bracelets (Amazon)
Ocean blue avant-garde sweater (Peruvian Connection)
Lace tee (Jones New York)
Yellow-green straight leg jeans (Jones New York)
Caramel drape-neck top (Jones New York)
Bottle green leather jacket (Nordstrom)
Embellished grey cashmere sweater (Nordstrom)
2 pairs of winter boots (6PM)
Winter walking shoes (6PM)

There is some overlap with my Pinterest boards, but less than I thought. The items in the carts are things I'm seriously considering, and I'm testing to see if my desire for them will last. Pinterest is also very useful for the companies that won't save my cart info, like Sundance, or for items where I just love the concept. I'm probably not actually going to buy a Vivienne Westwood coat.

34 items that I lovingly selected and put aside for a future purchase! Why then, when I actually buy something, do I generally not go back to these carts and purchase some of these items? 

1. The cart piles up and equals $400, and I can't bring myself to either spend that much or choose only one or two items from the group.
2. I discover something somewhere else (often eBay), buy it, and figure I can't then afford the lovely things lingering in online baskets (though Amazon will remember them forever, apparently). 
3. The hope/certainty that if I wait long enough, those things will go down in price. 
4. I look at my stuffed closets and 40 pairs of boots and I know I don't need anything more ever, for Heaven's sake, Roberta!
5. I review the carts and think the items don't really jive with my style goals. For example, I want to buy some pretty, graceful tunics, yet there aren't any in the carts. Hmmm. Apparently I have goals and then I also have GOALS.

 And then, hey, it's Friday and I haven't posted a single outfit photo!

I am loving grey lately and want to wear it every day. The red beaded necklace and bracelet are new via Ebay, and I love the grandiose scale of the links.

You can't really see the chain behind my neck, but it is black burnished metal - also good-sized links. Below is a more true rendition of the color. The little red beads are quite sparkly.

 
 
 

BLACK and White? Or Black and WHITE?

Sam Edelman's Petty Ankle Boot in black and white, about $125 at various places.

Circus by Sam Edelman Holt boot, about $100 here and there.

So - white in front or white in back?

Wishing Well

I was thinking about the shopping list I made last year:

1.  Casual, hooded, short-ish, warm coat   $100
2.  Brown-ish handbag  $45 and real leather!
3.  Beige ankle boots   $105
4.  Red short boots
5.  White lace tee
6.  Leopard-print top 
7.  Leather gloves with Thinsulate lining

I did find the leopard-print top eventually, from Jones New York, for about $25. The boots and a decent version (I bought a crappy one) of the lace tee still elude me. I should say that I have located the boots, but not bought them because I'm not sure how much I will actually use them. I definitely need to buy new gloves this year. Talbots used to sell lovely long leather gloves with either cashmere or Thinsulate linings, in an array of colors. *sigh*

Every once in a while I will be trying to put together an outfit and find myself thinking, "If only I had a . . ." It occured to me I should write those down, to see if they hold up over a time. That would be the ORGANIZED thing to do.

The result is that I don't have much of a wish list right now. I asked my sister-in-law, who works for Estee Lauder, for perfume for Christmas this year, as I am on a quest to smell nice. This must be an old lady thing; I will be one of those 70-year-olds on the bus reeking of Oscar De la Renta.

Fashion Resolutions

1. Not to buy any more clothes (except underwear) at Macy's and Lord and Taylor.
2. Correspondingly, to shop at Nordstrom. And maybe Banana Republic.
3. Revise my list of shopping questions.
 
These activities should feed the following goals:
 
1. Find balance between my work wardrobe and my play wardrobe.
2. Thin out my closet by 25%.
3. Eliminate anything that feels cheap, tight, fussy or sticky.
 
Some explication ensues. Over the weekend I reviewed blog photos for the past year. Hey, most things look pretty good. Also, Heather is correct that the camera isn't always the best judge (though generally a better one than my optimistic eyes). A couple of outfits need a little proportion adjustment. I have two full Boden skirts that I think are not sleek or simple enough; some gathers, some ruffles. I will consider selling those. I have a few tops and jackets with puffy sleeves, or with gathers at the armscye; I think those also have to go.

One particular top, the Ann Taylor black chiffon blouse, is problematic. I realized that every time I wore it I felt hot and sticky, probably because it is polyester and not silk. I need to wear it in cooler weather and review. I feel warm and flushed often enough these days without the assistance of my clothes. I'm also a little annoyed with elastic sleeves. I think this is a costcutting measure on the part of the manufacturer and it pisses me off. I don't like having marks on my arms just because my sleeves ride up at my desk.

My denim shirts aren't bringing their A game either. I want a denim-looking shirt that isn't denim weight, one that is long enough to tuck in, but with vertical darts or seams at the waist so there isn't a huge excess of material there. I saw a really nice version of this shirt at Nordstrom and Pinned it. One resolution I would like to make is not to buy any more button-fronts, but sometimes I am helpless in the face of a J. Crew "perfect" shirt.

I'm tempted to swear not to buy anything with a collar, period. I have loads of jackets and many of them are making me feel (at work) a little dated. Oddly, I like the idea of wearing them as play clothes, with bright jeans, or as outerwear with a warm scarf in the fall. That is part of the balance issue I refer to. My play clothes are minimal because I don't want to stain or damage my work clothes, and my work clothes feel a little "office fussy." Moving 25% of my office wear to the minor leagues will be a good start. I'm trying to decide whether a physical separation in my closet would be helpful (or just fun - I do love organizing things). Putting on a blazer stood me in good stead for years, but I think I need to upgrade my work wardrobe again.

And that's the final thing I realized: that I've been here before.  In the past I have upgraded my shopping habits, my fashion goals, my work wardrobe, and my style goals. It is actually a great feeling to think that I've done this before and it worked out well.
 

Today I wore a Talbot's top and skirt, and my lovely Everybody sandals. I can say with confidence that I love all the sandals I bought this year (can't say the same for the shoes, sadly).  I wish this top had just a little more definition in the waist. And damn those elastic sleeves!
  
To be continued: revising the shopping questions, and, what does "looks expensive" mean, anyway?

Cravings

A friend has embarked on a diet nutritional lifestyle plan in which you cut out most of the foods you normally eat that might contain system irritants (dairy, gluten, sugar, preservatives), and then slowly add them back in to see how they make you feel. During the initial deprivation, and believe me, giving up gluten would make me feel deprived, the author suggests that the thing you crave is likely to be the thing that disrupts your system. Or that makes you fat, to call a spade a spade.   Oh look, bagels.

Where was I?

I often feel closet cravings. And sometimes that craving seems to be the solution to a lot of wardrobe dissatisfaction. For example, last year, an ivory jacket seemed like a wonderful, albeit elusive, chimera.  Not stark white (I already have sweaters and jackets in pure white), but ivory, and dressy enough for work. Note that the many similar things in my closet couldn't possibly work.

A craving for color led to the Box O' Pink episode last year, in which I ordered multiple pink things. I love pale pink, and the Talbot's soft rose seemed like the perfect shade. So I bought everything they sold in that color. I still have two tops and one of the pants, though I returned one pair of pants and a linen sweater. I loved the sweater - so silky! - but it snagged AS I WAS TRYING IT ON. These color cravings are stimulated frequently, as a new color suddenly seems to be everywhere, or I see a great color combo in a catalog. This is when I troll the Talbot's and Ann Taylor sites, because they pick up new colors every season in the well-made basics I love, like pima tees and linen skirts.

Sometimes the craving is pure wish fulfillment. If I find the perfect ivory jacket, I will have dozens of new outfits and life will be great. It's true, I've stood in front of my closet thinking, "A pale jacket would be FANTASTIC with this." However, now I've had a perfectly lovely ivory Boden jacket hanging in plain view for a month, and I haven't worn it yet. I'm thinking about trading it in for a different craving - the sailor stripe hoody. Perfect for crisp Rhode Island walks! Yes, that is the thing I REALLY need!

Or the craving is for the Platonic Ideal of an item you already own. "Boy, that fuchsia cardigan is a great color and fits you well. If only it were a little nicer fabric, like cashmere for winter." Oh, if only. Garnet Hill was created for cravings like these.

Perhaps an item works so well that you want to get a spare, because that black velvet jacket isn't going to last forever, you know. This always reminds me of eating that brownie today, since there may not be brownies tomorrow. Unfortunately, closet cravings have led to many duplicate skirts and jackets, several scarves that seemed like perfect solutions and yet never get worn, and enough boots to wear a different pair for the entire Great Flood.

When the cravings strike, I have my own little dieter's checklist.

• Craving color? Wait, don't you already own yellow shoes? Heels, flats, check. And don't you have a yellow scarf, a fantastic yellow bracelet, and THREE yellow tees? Work with what you got, sister. And if you truly don't own any turquoise shoes, maybe there's a reason for that.

• Craving the imaginary perfect solution? Try that incomplete outfit with a similar piece. Maybe that white jacket would be just fine. At least you'll be able to figure out whether you need a long jacket, or a short, fitted jacket, fall or summer weight fabric, and won't buy the first thing you see online.

• If you're shopping out of fear of loss of a favorite item, think instead of finding something wonderful and different, because if you try to replace the perfect brown skirt, you'll just end up with five slightly different brown skirts. Plus, you run the risk of getting stuck in a particular style.

• If you just want to upgrade, well, that might be OK, if you actually purge the "inferior" sweater. If you can't bring yourself to throw it away, maybe you don't really need to upgrade.

These are all things I tell myself when I just WANT something, and many times, it works. Often I pick something out of my closet that I haven't worn in a while, and am reminded of why I bought it in the first place. This is when my closet has the power to make me foolishly happy. But sometimes, I just order the turquoise sandals. :-)

"Evanston" sandal at Lord and Taylor, $60

And Another Thing I Want . . .

I have a short-sleeved leopard print chiffon tee that I made a couple of years ago and wear fairly often. It fits under jackets, even sweaters, and is light enough to wear in summer. It is machine-washable and has a flattering draped neckline that elevates it slightly. It has to be tucked in because the hem is kind of ragged, and that is why I have been looking for something to fill the same role in my closet.

But NO DICE. Everything either is cotton (too stiff or bulky), or has long sleeves, or has a weird collar, or is too expensive, or has a mystery animal print. There's a lot of snakeskin out there this year, people. So I'm adding that to my list of wardrobe goals for 2012, now amended to: 
  
1.  Casual, hooded, short-ish, warm coat   $100

2.  Brown-ish handbag  $45 and real leather!

3.  Beige ankle boots   $105

4.  Red short boots

5.  White lace tee

6.  Leopard-print top 

7.  Leather gloves with Thinsulate lining

If you see the leopard-print top somewhere on your shopping adventures, let me know! 

Is this list closed for 2012? I'm not sure. I've been looking at lots of tall brown boots. I had a pair of Markon riding boots that laced up the back, and I finally weeded them this year. They were at least 15 years old. They're definitely not a need, but, well, they'd be COOL. I actually tried a fabulous pair on at Lord and Taylor, but they ran a little narrow for comfort. BCBGeneration Janiss, seen from the back:

$200 at Amazon and various retail stores

Seriously, those were fantastic-looking boots. But for that price, they should also be fantastically comfortable.

Box O' Pink

So, this happened.

 Pants, sweater and blouse, all in "soft rose."

What's in the Box, Vanna?

Many of those boxes on my kitchen counter represented an attempt to find a pair of comfortable, but not sneaker-ish, red flats. I ordered five different pairs, and here are the winners! Born Adele, courtesy of Amazon, about 25% off. They're very comfy, very cute without having bows or other whimsy, and being Born, will probably last another ten years. 

Now, not ALL of the boxes had red shoes in them. There were some deals at 6PM that I could not resist, and they are being put through their paces indoors before I make any decisions.

Is this a reasonable practice, to order and return shoes in mass quantities? I find that if I ask a shoe salesperson to find me every pair of red flats in the store, I will feel guilty enough to buy one - even if I don't love them. Trying them on in my home makes the rejection process easier.

Well, THIS is Embarrassing

Recapping the First Quarter of the Big Game

Let's recap the first quarter of 2012, shall we?

$620 spent on 24 items

• Nine (9) pieces of jewelry
• Three (3) pairs of shoes/boots
• Three (3) items of clothing; two maxi skirts and a bra
• Nine (9) other; purses, socks, a belt, gloves and a watchband

$86 of the above resulted from eBay sales. In the area of make and mend, I spent $40 on alterations and re-heeling a pair of boots, previously mentioned.

This isn't . . . too bad. In the same way I've become accustomed to How I Look, I'm becoming accustomed to How I Spend. Leaving out the $86 in PayPal money (my equivalent of Geoffrey Dollars), I spent $21.36 on each of the above items.

Sadly (?), the red maxi skirt I ordered from Shopbop after my astrological mandate last week was ALL WRONG. It committed the cardinal sin of making me look fat. One thing I've learned over the years, it's the clothes' fault, not mine. It had elastic at the back which was really unflattering, and was also too long and too sheer. Back it goes!

And since I'm randomizing here, I read 100 Unforgettable Dresses and Alexander McQueen, Savage Beauty this week. Both were marvelous compilations of thought and style. The McQueen book was particularly well laid out; it is a museum exhibit catalog of course, and thus extremely professional in production. Ben patiently sat with me as I showed him some of the work and talked about the designer and the-fashion-show-as-performance-art concept. I had been rummaging through my brain the past few months, trying to remember the name of an artist I had seen years ago at the MCA, and Savage Beauty mentioned that McQueen collected him - Joel Peter Witkin. If you look at his art, you'll understand why I was afraid to Google him: "artist, hermaphrodite, death, decapitation." I'm not brave enough to look at THAT search string.

These are both books I wanted to linger over, but couldn't really afford. A public library is a great thing.

Closet Therapy

I'm not good with money. I've always known that I would never make a lot of it, and I figured out pretty quickly that I was going to spend what little I had. My brother is the ant and I am the grasshopper; he's never had any debt to speak of and can make a nickel beg for mercy, which is good, as he has four kids to put through college. 

Fortunately, when I was married, my husband wasn't good with money either, so we never fought about it. We got our paycheck, went out to dinner and shopping, and then two weeks later ate potato soup while hoping we didn't bounce any checks. Thank God we only had one child to put through college.

Right now, I am doing a little better. A year and a half ago I sold my house and downsized in some major ways (like, selling my car). I still have big debts, though, and I oscillate between feeling proud of how much I've paid off ($17,000 in 2011!), and panicking at the thought of how much I still owe and how old I am and what happens if Ben gets sick or I lose my job I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAR TO LIVE IN!?! Breathe, Roberta. 

One small goal in my financial/emotional life for 2012 is that when I feel panicky and anxious about money, I no longer will go out and buy something. I KNOW that I was/am crazy to fight feeling poor with spending money, but hey, that's why we have old friends - new ones wouldn't put up with our loony ways. Now, I go to my closet and shop there.

Because I don't need anything more to wear, truly I don't, and my hope is that a month or six from now I'll be able to read this blog post and say, "Yup, I still don't need anything, and that means hundreds of dollars I can eventually spend on a couch because I didn't spend it on clothes AND I still paid off $1400 in debt every month.

So pretty.