Let's recap the first quarter of 2012, shall we?
$620 spent on 24 items
- Nine (9) pieces of jewelry
- Three (3) pairs of shoes/boots
- Three (3) items of clothing; two maxi skirts and a bra
- Nine (9) other; purses, socks, a belt, gloves and a watchband
$86 of the above resulted from eBay sales. In the area of make and mend, I spent $40 on alterations and re-heeling a pair of boots, previously mentioned.
This isn't . . . too bad. In the same way I've become accustomed to How I Look, I'm becoming accustomed to How I Spend. Leaving out the $86 in PayPal money (my equivalent of Geoffrey Dollars), I spent $21.36 on each of the above items.
Sadly (?), the red maxi skirt I ordered from Shopbop after my astrological mandate last week was ALL WRONG. It committed the cardinal sin of making me look fat. One thing I've learned over the years, it's the clothes' fault, not mine. It had elastic at the back which was really unflattering, and was also too long and too sheer. Back it goes!
And since I'm randomizing here, I read 100 Unforgettable Dresses and Alexander McQueen, Savage Beauty this week. Both were marvelous compilations of thought and style. The McQueen book was particularly well laid out; it is a museum exhibit catalog of course, and thus extremely professional in production. Ben patiently sat with me as I showed him some of the work and talked about the designer and the-fashion-show-as-performance-art concept. I had been rummaging through my brain the past few months, trying to remember the name of an artist I had seen years ago at the MCA, and Savage Beauty mentioned that McQueen collected him - Joel Peter Witkin. If you look at his art, you'll understand why I was afraid to Google him: "artist, hermaphrodite, death, decapitation." I'm not brave enough to look at THAT search string.
These are both books I wanted to linger over, but couldn't really afford. A public library is a great thing.
Two months without buying any clothing, and yet I spent just over $200 on "clothing" in February. This is in quotation marks because I bought four pieces of jewelry, two purses, two pairs of tights and one pair of boots, but nothing that needs a hanger.
The couch is no closer.
I made a reasonable case to myself that these were items I would get a lot of use out of and that I did not already own in some version. Also, everything was purchased either used or at least 50% off.
Mankind is the rationalizing animal. I''m not meeting my goal of spending less, that's for sure. However, I have thinned out my closet quite a bit in the last two months, and added nothing. As I threw out both pairs of ratty brown ankle boots this month, a new pair of brown ankle boots was a reasonable purchase. Ditto the black earrings when I had worn out both pairs of my black earrings. I returned a belt that I had purchased in January. I am selling two items on eBay that should net me about fifty bucks.
In the area of make and mend, I re-hemmed a pair of pants so I could wear them with higher shoes and changed the buttons on my green military jacket so it looks more authentic (plastic buttons are the bane of my existence). I also took a pair of boots to be re-heeled today. I will continue to work through my closet until I have worn every cool weather item I own.
I am fighting - fighting! - the urge to take Talbot's up on their thoughtful offer of 40% off on a knit jacket. I am NOT buying a perfect white knit button-down shirt from J. Jill at 75% off. I successfully held off the half-price Halogen pencil skirt until it was no longer available in my size. It was so pretty.
I am woman, hear me whimper.
I'm not good with money. I've always known that I would never make a lot of it, and I figured out pretty quickly that I was going to spend what little I had. My brother is the ant and I am the grasshopper; he's never had any debt to speak of and can make a nickel beg for mercy, which is good, as he has four kids to put through college.
Fortunately, when I was married, my husband wasn't good with money either, so we never fought about it. We got our paycheck, went out to dinner and shopping, and then two weeks later ate potato soup while hoping we didn't bounce any checks. Thank God we only had one child to put through college.
Right now, I am doing a little better. A year and a half ago I sold my house and downsized in some major ways (like, selling my car). I still have big debts, though, and I oscillate between feeling proud of how much I've paid off ($17,000 in 2011!), and panicking at the thought of how much I still owe and how old I am and what happens if Ben gets sick or I lose my job I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CAR TO LIVE IN!?! Breathe, Roberta.
One small goal in my financial/emotional life for 2012 is that when I feel panicky and anxious about money, I no longer will go out and buy something. I KNOW that I was/am crazy to fight feeling poor with spending money, but hey, that's why we have old friends - new ones wouldn't put up with our loony ways. Now, I go to my closet and shop there.
Because I don't need anything more to wear, truly I don't, and my hope is that a month or six from now I'll be able to read this blog post and say, "Yup, I still don't need anything, and that means hundreds of dollars I can eventually spend on a couch because I didn't spend it on clothes AND I still paid off $1400 in debt every month.
So pretty.
